You can have your survival shotguns and emergency kits, but when an apocalypse scenario really comes down on the world, you'll never survive unless you know how to make it in the wild (where people will most likely retreat from aliens, zombies and whatever other monstrosity ends up claiming civilization). The Bear Grylls Survival Academy will get you ready for just that.
Yep, the dude with arguably the most recognizable face in survival and outdoor adventure has his own school, where you can learn to be as resilient in the face of adversity as the man himself. Hopefully, they'll teach you to think like Bear Grylls, too, so ridiculous and unnecessary antics like crawling into the carcass of a dead animal, eating live rodents when you just managed to get a fire going, and rappelling haphazardly on the face of a cliff rather than going around it to save a few minutes will come naturally to you as well.
The inaugural Bear Grylls Survival Academy course will be held at Scotland in the span of six days. Bear won't be the one teaching you, of course, but it's been confirmed he will make an appearance (hopefully, doing more ridiculous shit). While we doubt you'll get to do some of the unnecessary crap Bear puts himself through, the itinerary is actually quite impressive, genuinely preparing you to develop the skills required for survival in the wild.
After the course, participants should learn valuable skills like crossing rivers and ravines, using ropes, building shelters, climbing up and down cliff faces, hunting and trapping animals, foraging for grub, finding and purifying water, and applying first aid using improvised implements. To ensure you can apply everything you learn, the last day and a half of the course will see all participants left in a remote location where they will have to use what they've been taught to get through the next 36 hours.
The Bear Grylls Survival Academy will hold their first course in November 19th, priced at £2,999 including all meals and accommodations (note: we're not sure if eating insects and sleeping on soil qualify as that). Branches will also be opened in the US and South Africa by 2013.