Even knights need to save themselves from torrential rain. After all, that head to toe armor can rust pretty badly. When that downpour comes, all warriors draw their Broadsword Handle Umbrellas, unleashing a canopy of safety that keeps the heavy drizzles away.
With a handle cut from the mold of medieval swords, you can grab a hold of this umbrella like you would a weapon for slaying dragons. Except you're going to use it to keep the rain out, battling the attacking torrent like an army of spears coming down from the skies.
The Broadsword Umbrella features a two-handed, 10-inch handle made from injection-molded plastic that's been treated to a metallic finish (since obvious plastic swords are just shameful). For easier grip, the upper half is wrapped in leatherrete, with a 9-inch cross guard for no-slip handling. Full umbrella is 39.5 inches long, with a 41-inch spread for complete protection from heavy rainfall.
It comes with its own scabbard, so cops can mistake that massive handle for a real sword and arrest you while you're walking down the street. In case they don't, you can walk in to McDonald's and use it to intimidate the crew - "I want my double cheeseburger like in the picture or I'll draw my sword. Don't test me." Just don't count on actually getting it because, you know, nobody ever gets their burgers like in the pictures.
Thinkgeek has the Broadsword Handle Umbrella for $39.99.