Clumsy with your drinks? While it may be too late to improve your physical coordination (you're an old drunk now, so it's hopeless), it might be possible to help you in other ways. Specifically, with concrete.
We're not advocating burying you in the construction material (not that it hasn't crossed my mind), so don't run out in horror. Instead, you might be better off using Concrete Tumblers, erstwhile regular glasses armed with a rock-solid base.
It may not look like the coolest thing ever (although the sales page seems to be under the delusion that it's a "classic" design), but its heart is in the right place. With the heavy stone-like mass right under the glass top, it's going to take a bad accident to keel it over. That means you can keep hitting the table and nudging your drink (all involuntarily, of course), without having to worry about soaking your clothes in cheap alcohol again.
Even clumsy guys who choose to be sober should benefit too, especially if you find yourself spilling water during dinner on a pretty frequent basis. Not to mention, of course, that if anyone decides to piss you off, the concrete bottom should offer a more potent striking weapon. Throw it as hard as you can on your enemy's face and run out of there like a rabid animal. If the glass breaks, it also provides an instant handle for your glass shards - all the benefits of skin-tearing self-defense, without the risk of cutting yourself.
The minimal-spilling, face-crushing Concrete Tumblers are available now for $40 per set of two.