You have a half-finished bottle of champagne. And two hours to kill. So you drink your wine conservatively to make it last. But you're all out of ice. Actually, you have ice, but you're all out of buckets, so you can't chill it -- someone's been eating the buckets in your house. How do you keep your wine cool while keeping it next to you the whole time? Maybe the Corkcicle can help.
A cork with a reusable freeze gel attached to it, the contraption will keep your beverage cool while you leisurely sip at your glass and enjoy a gripping episode of Pretty Little Liars. Or whatever other sappy teen drama gets you off. And don't even pretend all you watch is Breaking Bad and Justified. Please.
The Corkcicle actually looks like a crystal magic wand (12 inches long x 2 inches diameter), with that icicle-like plastic housing the food-grade freeze gel. Except its only power is keeping your wine chilled even if a monster ate all your buckets. And since it's not real ice, you don't have to worry about the thing thawing and diluting your alcoholic beverage -- it's still as crappy as the day you bought it from Trader Joe's.
You'll need to keep the cork/gel in the freezer for at least two hours and draw at least a glassful from the bottle before using. We're not sure how, but according to the website, putting this thing in should "enhance the subtleties" of the wine's "complex flavors."
Uncommon Goods has the Corkcicle now, priced at $22.95.