Balding hair? Shave it off already. If you insist on clinging to your last strands, the Flair Hair Visor should help you cover it up...somewhat.
It won't grow your hair back. Heck, it won't even try to. What it will do is put a spiky wig on your crown, complete with a sun visor. That way, all you need is a tan to look like you just leapt off the set of Jersey Shore. Fist pump!
The Flair Hair Visor is, of course, just a wig, with the visor acting as a clever equipment to hide it. It comes with different hair colors, so you can match it with the natural growth you have remaining along the sides and back. The visor is available in a variety of designs too, so you can stock up with different ones just so you're not too obvious.
Since visors only make sense when the sun is out, this would make for very good outdoor wear. You don't have to look like the rest of the aging cats on the golf course anymore, with their patches of disappearing bushels of hair and bellies sticking out. Well, your 40-inch gut will still bust out of your pants, but the ugly bald spots should be taken care of.
What will you do at night? I have no idea. Maybe ride a motorcycle and refuse to take your helmet off? Or something like that. Seriously, just shave it off. Life will be so much easier. The Flair Hair Visor is available for bald people and other cats who want to impersonate Guidos for only $19.99.