Grinds Coffee Pouches: A Caffeine-Based Smokeless Tobacco Alternative

If you ask me, chewing tobacco is just plain gross and harmful for your body. And I am guessing that's why you quit also.  Then you realized you loved it because at least when you were addicted to it, you had an excuse for never getting laid.  So you decided to start chewing, drooling and spitting again just for the heck of it, but do you really want to bring nicotine and other nasty chemicals into your body again?  If not, then the Grinds Coffee Pouches should make for a perfectly good alternative.

Instead of smokeless tobacco, it's chewable coffee, so you get all the disgusting visuals with none of the accompanying health risks.  You know, the same color in your mouth, the same unquenchable need to spit and the same horrific cup of saliva sitting right next to you everywhere you go.  Ugh.

Grinds Coffee Pouches come in round canisters, similar to their tobacco counterparts.  Each container packs 20 pouches of flavored coffee that you can chew on and on until your jaw gets so tired you just want to end it all.  Since it's coffee, you don't have to spit it out either -- you can just swallow the juices the same way when you chew a gum.

Each pouch contains the equivalent of 4 to 5 cups of coffee, so chewing on one can give you a serious jolt.   If you don't want too much stimulation, then don't swallow.  Just spit and you'll get a minimum of the coffee hit.

Three flavors of Grinds Coffee Pouches are available here: mocha, mint chocolate and cinnamon roll.  Price is $13 per canister.