Want to watch real hummingbirds from up close? Apparently, you can do it by feeding them on your face with the eYe2eYe Wearable Hummingbird Feeder, a full-face helmet with feeding stations for the tiny birds to suck some sugar water on.
Created by Doyle Doss, the wearable bird feeder has a feeding tube between the eye holes, about an inch right above your nose. That way, you can really watch the vibrating flyers up close, all while getting cross-eyed and looking stupid in the process.
The eYe2eYe uses a professional-grade polycarbonate face shield (so your male model looks are safe), fitted with a plastic helmet and vinyl feeding tubes. Everything is assembled by hand from bought parts, with the face mask covered with a decorative layer to make it look like red rhododendrons. Yes, you're basically disguising yourself as a shrub (instead of the tool you normally are -- I kid, I kid) so the hummingbirds actually come near you.
According to the product page, there's no need to cover up the rest of your body while wearing the mask (just don't do it nekkid -- that's gross). As long as you sit still and let the minuscule birds get their fill, they will come over and stick around anywhere from 5 to 30 seconds.
While I don't really get the point of watching hummingbirds sucking water up close, I'm sure there are folks who get their jollies that way. If you're one of them, you can get the eYe2eYe Wearable Hummingbird Feeder from the Heatstick website, priced at $79.95.