Spatulas are easy targets for people who make novelty kitchen items. Not only are they used, practically, everywhere, they also have a form that lends itself well to being dressed up as many different things. A broad and heavy knife that you can use to hack your way through the jungle, though, is not something I thought spatulas could look like. Apparently, I was wrong because the Machete Spatula exists.
Designed to look like a real machete, it’s the perfect companion to your Tactical BBQ Apron, making you look like an absolute badass about to wreak unspeakable havoc. Except, of course, you’re really just gearing up for a barbecue, which might still turn out an unspeakable havoc, depending on how the food actually turns out.
While it looks like a real bladed weapon for whacking bushes and hacking small branches, the end of the Machete Spatula’s blade is actually angled, making it useful for flipping the burgers, sausages, and steaks you have cooking in the grill. The edges aren’t actually bladed either, so it can’t quite cut through anything, unless you’re portioning slices of cake. It even comes with a trio of bottle openers along the fake blade, so you can open three beers simultaneously (albeit, with a little balancing work), as well as a bandana to complete the look (or wipe off grease stains on the spatula).
Construction is stainless steel for the blade and oak for the handle. It measures 48 x 11 x 2 cm.
The Machete Spatula is available now, priced at £11.99.