Man Hands: Because Everyone Deserves A Big Hand

Big hands are great, making it easier to hail cabs, catch balls, and slap any guy who grabs at you in a crowded bar.  Unfortunately, your hands are tiny and plastic surgery for dainty hands has not been developed yet.  In the meantime, you can enjoy some of the benefits of large paws with these oversized Man Hands.

A huge pair of gloves clad in the likeness of real hands, it lets you wave at friends, cover your son's eyes when a racy scene comes across the TV, and raise your hand in class the same way an NBA center would -- with a giant palm and five monstrous fingers sticking out of it.  Never be ignored by cab drivers again!

The Man Hands are made of rubber, so it's both squishy and firm.  We don't know how much of a man it's supposed to be, since there's not even a single callous in sight.  I mean, don't all men chop trees, dig holes, and wrestle bulls in their spare time?  It's realistic enough to trick people into thinking they're your real hands, too, provided you're white and 8 foot tall.  Yeah, I guess it won't fool anyone.  Measuring 14 inches long, though, it's enough to cover someone's entire head, letting you put up the most legendary "talk to the hand" gesture in the history of mankind.  And if whoever's antagonizing you keeps up their annoying ways, you can use the same hands to give them the biggest slap of their entire life.

Warning: do not use to pick nose, might leave it permanently enlarged.  The Man Hands are available from Perpetual Kid, priced at $29.99.

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