Rainy Day Ammunition: The Rifle Umbrella

Those samurai sword umbrellas you've probably seen around are neat.  But if you're more of a musket man than a bushido warrior yourself, this Rifle Umbrella should be more up your alley.

Styled to look like a real shoulder rifle, the rainy day gear has a realistic-looking rifle butt for the handle and a gun barrel with a sight at the top.  That way, you can look like you're carrying a real gun when you have it folded up -- perfect for attracting police attention while you're walking in the streets.

The Rifle Umbrella comes in two brolly lengths: 73 cm and 100 cm.  Both can be opened by pulling on the trigger in a shooting motion, which should be way more entertaining than the push-button operation of regular umbrellas.  I know, it would have been more awesome if it can actually fire shots, but this one should let you use it without being arrested for gun possession and maybe just get away with a citation.

I used to avoid carrying an umbrella because they cramp my style.  While this umbrella won't really do anything to fix that, it does give the impression that you're terribly badass and batshit crazy  -- some rainy days, that might just be what you're looking for.

In all honesty, this thing could have been epic if it made a firing sound every time you pulled the trigger.  As it is, though, it's just admirably entertaining.  The Rifle Umbrella is available from peripherals retailer Brando, priced at $19 and $28 for the 73 cm and 100 cm version, respectively.

[Brando]

2 Responses

  1. Dan McKenzie

    Great idea, until you get shot by the police. I guarantee, a bullet in your chest will cramp your style a lot more than an “uncool” umbrella. One of these got a Burlington, MA mall evacuated on 04/19/11 when police received a “man with a gun” call.

    Reply
    • Anonymous

      Dan: While I agree that carrying an umbrella such as this might needlessly frighten those who see it from afar, attract negative attention from law enforcement, or just be in poor taste, you are incorrect when you write that “One of these got a Burlington, MA mall evacuated on 04/19/11 when police received a ‘man with a gun’ call.”

      The umbrella which was mistaken for a rifle at Burlington mall was actually one of the samurai sword style umbrellas mentioned in the product description (” if you’re more of a musket man than a bushido warrior yourself, this Rifle Umbrella should be more up your alley”).

      For images of the umbrella in question, see:

      http://www.boston.com/news/local/breaking_news/2011/04/burlington_mall.html
      http://boston.cbslocal.com/2011/04/19/burlington-mall-closed-after-reports-of-a-gunman-inside/
      http://www.myfoxboston.com/dpp/news/local/reports-of-gunman-at-burlington-mall-20110419

      or just use your favorite search engine to search for “burlington mall umbrella”.

      Of course, the fact that something that looks less like a rifle than the Rifle Umbrella was still mistaken for a rifle might bolster your argument that carrying something like this is asking for trouble, but to that point I’d have to ask: Where do we draw the line? How much must any given object not look like a weapon before it’s deemed OK to carry around in public? What will we do when terrorists start hiding bombs inside teddy bears and baby strollers?

      I wouldn’t personally carry an umbrella such as this, but I think that the culture of blind fear that has seized the US is toxic to our liberties, lives, and ultimately to our identity as a nation. The fact is: The average American is far more likely to die on the highway than in a random or targeted act of violence, and yet we blithely climb into our cars every day while quaking at the thought of the few malcontents who are so limited in their resources that the only way they can kill others is by putting themselves in harm’s way. (eg: Strapping on a bomb, walking into a public place with a gun, etc – when’s the last time one of those guys walked away alive?)

      Should the US come under attack from a group with the resources to regularly kill large numbers of Americans without risk to themselves or their agents, then I will become concerned. Until then, I’m more afraid that I’ll seriously hurt myself by slipping and falling in the shower than I am that a terrorist will get me. And I’m a healthy, normal guy in my mid-twenties. I would implore my fellow Americans to seriously reevaluate the way they view risk, and stop being so needlessly scared.

      And, if you want to buy this umbrella: Do so, and be glad that we live in a country that, at least for the time being, continues to have enough freedom that you can buy something such as this.

      Reply

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