Spatulas are for girls. Boys cooking at home are going to require a little more control than what those rods with flattened ends can afford. That's why God decreed the creation of the Silicon Finger Tongs, cooking utensils that let you grab your sizzling hot food like the caveman that you are, all without burning your dainty, little fingers.
What exactly is it? It's a pair of tongs-slash-mittens shaped like Donald Duck's beak, letting you clamp on whatever grub you have cooking on the fryer. More importantly, you hold it like you're operating a puppet's mouth, so you can use your hands and fingers to grab at any greasy fare with full control.
Perfect for turning meat that's swimming in a pool of boiling lard, the Silicon Finger Tongs can resist the effect of temperatures up to 500 degrees Fahrenheit. It's intended for use with delicate food that keeps slipping from your frying scoop, allowing you to turn the fare over without the chance of scorching oil splashing in your face.
With this nifty little kitchen tool, you can literally use just one hand for frying. No need for a second item in your other hand to hold your food with utmost balance, freeing it for more important uses like texting, scratching your backside or holding the TV remote.
The sales page says it perfectly: "All the dexterity of using your fingers with none of the hideous burns." It's available for only $18.