It's 2012 -- the year of the great deluge that will wipe out humanity. If you want to be one of the few survivors to restore human life on this earth, you're going to have to learn to stay alive on the water. We suggest installing a pool in your backyard and practicing now (hey, your money won't be worth crap when the flooding descends). If you don't quite have the space for a real pool, try this: the Swimmer's Treadmill.
Calling it a treadmill is a bit of an understatement when it comes to the size, of course. A treadmill can fit into a decent-sized closet -- this one won't. However, it does work like a treadmill, letting you swim the Atlantic and back without leaving the comfort of your backyard.
The Swimmer's Treadmill is, basically, a mini-sized portable pool that you can put up at home. Measuring 10 x 8 x 7.5 feet, it takes about the same space as an SUV, so you don't need a lot of room to set it up (you can pitch it in the garage if you sold the car, since a car won't help you survive the giant floods). It installs with no plumbing and electrical work necessary. In fact, you can think of it like a giant hot tub that you can fill up with a water hose.
Now, about the swimming practice part. The rig comes with a powder-coated steel frame that has an elastic tether hanging off it and a harness on the other end. Wrap the harness around your waist and you can swim in place for hours on end. We guess you can lower the tether if you want to spend time underwater too, since you never know when you need to hide from tentacle-faced pirates and stuff when this Armageddon thing goes down.
Available at HammacherSchlemmer for $1,400.