Want to play an instrument, but have absolutely no iota of talent? Don't sob, we can relate. Suck UK's Musical Ruler might save you yet, letting you fashion sounds by snapping its plastic body from the side of a table. Yep, it's just like elementary school all over again.
Twang! Twang! We all know that's just crappy ruler sounds, performed as a source of bored amusement, instead of being any form of musical expression. Leave it to creator Dan Wieden to take it seriously, writing a full guide on the best way to produce your own tunes using the plastic school supply.
The Musical Ruler is a standard 12-inch plastic ruler, with centimeter measurements written out on one side. Instead of marking off the inches on the other edge, however, it features lines that correspond to specific notes. The idea is to position the ruler with that line parallel to the edge of the table, in order to hit the correct note. Finger position are also marked, so you can apply the pressure right where it counts.
A printed book comes with the ruler, which details the step-by-step guide to fashioning songs using the "instrument" (yes, we're using the term loosely). Look at that smile on his face (from the first photo above) - like a grade-schooler getting away with spiking the teachers' drinks at the cafeteria. I guess that's what happens when you finally discover you can really make a few bucks out of your childhood passions.
Underline book entries one moment, make bad music the next. Such is the life you can look forward to with the Musical Ruler. It's available now for £7 (around $11). Check out the video below to watch some dude play it badly (not that I can imagine any other way for it to sound).
Image Credit: Suck UK