Who says toilet paper is only useful when you're in the crapper? Not the Measuring Tape Toilet Paper, which you can commission as a makeshift tape measure for whatever purpose one may be able to serve you.
A novelty product deserving of any praise (or, let's face it, cuss-based adjectives) it receives, it's a roll of toilet paper with measuring rule printed on it. Both inches and centimeters are represented (it's… versatile), so you can switch between European and American styles if you want to.
The product page claims it's the perfect tool to measure your "number twos" -- a terrible, terrible idea if only for the sheer grossness of the actions that comprise it. We suggest just leaving it in the bathroom and using it like regular toilet paper. Then, when the need to measure something inside the house arises (such as when you're trying to compare waistlines or something) and somebody exclaims, "I wish I had a measuring tape," you can then point them towards the bathroom to retrieve whatever length of measuring scale they rquire. Very sleek.
The Measuring Tape Toilet Paper is now available, ready to service all your bathroom measuring needs, from Perpetual Kid. Price is $6.99 per roll.