Sure, you were a shrimp in middle school. Doesn't mean you need to go through life being a slouch, though. Improve your carriage with the Vibrating Posture Training Shirt, an annoying undershirt that gives you incessant reminders when it detects you falling into a bad stance.
Designed by the team physician for the Boston Celtics, the shirt is designed to vibrate non-stop until you straighten up your body. Your belly falling out while standing in line? Bzzzt. Your shoulder hunches while you're sending a text message? Bzzzt. Your back swayed while you're walking? Bzzzt...bzzzt...bzzzt!
The Vibrating Posture Training Shirt sports built-in filaments that conform to your body when you're relaxed. When your carriage drops for the worse, it creates increased tension in the microfilaments, which the built-in electronic sensor automatically detects. Once that happens, it triggers an endless tickling on the area near the armpit, alerting you to the fact that you need to correct your stance. The annoying quiver is not going to stop until you straighten the hell up, so better suck that stomach and huff that chest out, kiddo.
Intended to be used as an undershirt so you can stand regal while clad in your business suit, it's made from 95% cotton and 5% spandex fabric. It's completely washable too, but I guess you'll need to remove the three installed watch batteries.
Who needs a posture coach? Not you. Just put on a Vibrating Posture Training Shirt and you can walk around like an ex Navy Seal. It's available for $129.95.