Finally, a reason for non-smokers to carry a lighter around. Shapeways is taking orders for custom-made, 3D-printed mini-branding irons that snap on to the top of lighters (the non-Zippo variety), allowing you to pull out a lighter from your pocket and brand anything in sight – even your cheating ex-boyfriend’s you know what. Hooray.
Designed to replace the head of disposable lighters (that removable section which partly covers up the flames), simply pop the new cap in and your pocket branding iron is ready. To use it, just turn the lighter on, heat the metal up for thirty seconds and stick it to where you want to put the mark.
It’s available for both logos and texts, so you can have them make one with your name, your business emblem or some random lines. The iron should burn through pretty much everything (except, probably, hard metal), including wood, leather and hard plastics. Human flesh should be a given, although there’s no word on how good it ends up looking when someone is squirming. According to the company, they still haven’t found a volunteer for testing.
Can you imagine the uses, though? You can now brand your bed, your cabinet and your girlfriend’s butt. You can also mark the walls of your prison cell when she sends you to jail for branding her ass. Sounds awesome.
Seriously, though, at the $25 price (including shipping and a free disposable lighter), this thing is highly affordable. Can you imagine kids getting their hands on it? Classrooms will end up branded like crazy.