No, people don’t wear tinfoil hats ironically anymore like they did in the 90s. You know, back when The X-Files was a big deal and everything was a conspiracy. That doesn’t mean we’re any safer, though, with the Illuminatis, reptilians, and a new wave of technological industrialists still doing nefarious things in the shadows. All we’re really saying is, we can’t blame anyone for protecting themselves in this day and age. And while you can easily DIY your own scanning-proof headwear from aluminum foil, maybe you’d rather get this reusable Archie McPhee Tin Foil Hat.
That’s right, you can now buy your own protective headwear off the shelf, saving you from the hassle of having to make one yourself on a daily basis. Whether you want to fend off psychotronic scanning, government mind control, or electromagnetic fields, this thing will protect you from “them,” the nefarious cast of characters intent on keeping the rest of us in the dark.
Instead of aluminum foil, the Archie McPhee Tin Foil Hat is made from heat-resistant mylar, so this is designed to last longer than your standard tinfoil headwear. Felt lining ensures it’s soft and gentle while wrapped around your noggin, complete with an elastic strap that loops through either side to secure the hat around your chin. Simply put, this thing is designed for multiple uses, allowing you to protect yourself with the same hat, no matter what the threat. Telepathic supervillains? Bust out the tin foil hat. Psychotronic scanning from a smartphone? Put this on every time you pick up that iPhone. Mind-control aliens? Yep, this should keep you ready for the eventual first contact.
The hat is one-size fits all, so those with particularly large heads might have some trouble fitting it. Because it has that elastic strap, though, you should still be able to secure it on your head, although it will look like one of those cone-shaped party hats people put on to look goofy during birthdays and other celebrations.
The Archie McPhee Tin Foil Hat is priced at $8.99.