Beer Belly: Wearable Accessory For The Discreetly Alcoholic


Every time is a good time for beer.  Even when it’s a bad idea to get drunk, chugging a glass down is still an excellent choice.  The Beer Belly, a wearable container you can fill up with your favorite brew, makes sure you enjoy a swig anytime you fancy.

Designed to be worn under clothing, the crafty pouch lets you carry alcohol covertly, all while looking like a normal dude with a hefty midsection.  That’s right, it makes you look like a six-piece chicken-eating, 30oz soda-drinking slob.  Who cares about image, though, when you’re drunk all the time?  With this thing wrapped around your torso, that’s virtually guaranteed.


The Beer Belly consists of two parts, an 80oz bladder (good for over six cans of beer) and a body-hugging sling.  Put on the neoprene strap around your trunk, throw in the container on the integrated pouch and fill ‘er up.  The sling comes with a hook-and-loop mechanism that lets it fit folks up to 6″8’ tall, with a 40-inch waist.


Whether you’re walking your dog, busy at work or in the middle of a date, the Beer Belly lets you arm yourself with a hefty amount of alcoholic beverage discreetly.  Feel some hankering for the good stuff?  Simply tug the hose, wrap your lips around it and sip.  Aaaah…..warm beer?!?

That’s right, the Beer Belly has no cooling system of its own.  As such, you’ll have to continually throw ice into the bladder’s wide mouth if you want to enjoy something cold.  It’s a small hassle.  Being a consummate drunk, though, I’m sure you’ll manage.  You can get one directly from the manufacturer’s site for $35.

[Beer Belly via Gear Patrol]