Bulletproof Polo Shirt

It’s hard wearing the crown.  Sure, you’re the top dog in the game, but any time of the day, you’ve got half a dozen gangsters trying to put a bullet in your heart.  But what good is being king if it means you have to walk down to the taco truck wearing a bulletproof vest?  Keep yourself protected without cramping your high-street swag with this Bulletproof Polo Shirt.

Okay, we’re kidding about being the king of the streets.  Chances are, you need a new iPad cover more than bulletproof clothing.  But what better way to promote undeserved self-importance than running around town knowing bullets will bounce off your chest like Superman?

Made by Miguel Caballero for his “high security fashion” Black Label Collection, the Bulletproof Polo Shirt looks like any regular three-button collared top.  I mean, you can wear it for tennis, golf or hanging with your prep school buddies — it looks like a regular shirt.  Except it isn’t.

The shirt itself has two layers, consisting of an exterior made from 100% cotton to keep it low-key and an interior made with microfiber to help maintain ideal body temperatures, regardless of hot or cold climates.  The bulletproofing happens in the slot between those two layers, where they put in lightweight anti-ballistic panels, which are available in three variants: one that can survive a 40-caliber S&W, one that can survive the bullets off a mini-uzi, and one that can stave off serious ammunition (like full-size uzis and MP9s).

Each Bulletproof Polo Shirt is custom-made upon ordering, so it isn’t cheap.  Price is $3,500.