Too drunk for words? I know the feeling — best just shut your trap, lest puke all over the moment you try to utter a single word. But how are you supposed to address the cab driver what to do with your drunk ass if you can’t move your lips? Hopefully, you filled up a Dear Cab Driver Napkin before you told the bartender to just empty the bottle of Jack Daniels into your mouth.
There’s nothing fancy about this thing. It’s a piece of table napkin with a form for drunks who need to get home pre-printed on it. If you frequently find yourself partying a little too hard when you hit the town, it might be a good idea to pre-fill a dozen of these and hide them in your wallet for emergency purposes. And by emergency, we don’t mean a trip to the toilet, but it’s good for that, too.
The Dear Cab Driver Napkin comes with two main sections: a large box to write your address in and a multiple choice checkbox to tell the driver where they can feel you up for cash. Sure, it’s embarrassing to have to rely on a note to get home, but it really is a better idea than taking your own car and running into the first tree you come across.
Oh yeah, make sure you don’t get your similarly drunk friends to fill out the boxes. The last thing you want is someone writing down the address to the local funeral home and having the cabbie drop you off there. The napkins are available for $2.99 per set of 12.