Evil Fortune Cookies Offer Bleak Insights, Sad Prophecies

Fortune cookies are great for drama.  That’s why they’ve been used in countless references for various purposes in both TV and film, from delivering a profound message that changes the protagonist’s life to playing practical jokes.  The Cookie Misfortune Evil Fortune Cookie is the same, except it does away with pearls of wisdom, choosing to advise you of your bleak, unhappy future instead.

Banal platitudes and hopeful encouragements are nice.  The average person’s waking hours aren’t really filled with them, though.  In truth, you probably spend your days working thankless jobs, getting dumped by ugly girlfriends and unsuccessfully attempting to improve your station in life.  To be blunt, your life sucks.

The Cookie Misfortune Evil Fortune Cookies tell it like it is.  From short, succinct pronouncements (“F*** you”) to profound assessments (“Your friends don’t really like you”) to the literary (“Life is nasty, brutish and short”), it shares life’s wisdom like a grumpy, but wise, sage.

Far from being just a platform for clever retorts, it’s a real fortune cookie and tastes like it (you know, it’s made from wheat flour, sugar, eggs and all that).   Each Chinese-style takeout box comes with ten cookies bearing a random collection of messages, with no two items in the same pack ever having the same fortunes.  The cookies are individually housed in a blank wrapper too, so you can prank friends the next time you’re out having dinner at the local dimsum place.

Check Out the Cookie Misfortune Evil Fortune Cookie for $9.99 a box.