We’re not entirely sure what the hell you’re supposed to do with a lollipop clad in the likeness of your face. Do you lick it? Do you give it to your spouse? Do you give it to your unrequited love, hoping it might have a better shot of making it out with that person than you ever did? Whatever you decide to do with a lollipop of your mug, it’s all possible now because this Face Licker exists.
That’s right, you can now order a custom giant lollipop that’s been molded to your liking, so you can have your beautiful face cloned in a sweeter, more lickable form. Granted, we still have no idea what you’re supposed to do with it, but you can have one if you want it.
The Face Licker is a real edible lollipop in tutti-frutti flavor that’s designed to be a life-size likeness of a person’s face. You heard that right, it’s life-size, so you can pretend you’re actually snacking on a real face because, you know, that’s not weird at all. Because it’s life-size, you can use it as a stand-in if you want to make out with lots of people, but don’t want all the diseases (and drama) you can contract from sucking face with unsavory strangers – just have them finish up one of these and it’s probably close enough. Maybe.
Oh yeah, you’re not restricted to ordering just your face, so you can get a lollipop in most anyone’s likeness, provided you can send in a picture. Fancy making out with that girl who dumped you in high school in the form of a lollipop? Yeah, creepy. Ever harbored a Jennifer Lawrence fantasy? This could be your only shot at tasting those sweet, sweet lips (which is sweeter than the real thing because, you know, this has gobloads of sugar).
Each Face Licker is painstakingly molded by hand, so someone basically makes a life-size sculpture of your face using candy as the medium. Yes, it’s quite impressive. Do note, the face is a bit on the cartoony side as you would expect from such a whimsical undertaking, which, we guess, just adds to the playfulness of the whole thing. Plus, it makes the whole sucking face with a celebrity in the form of a lollipop just that much less creepy. Well, we hope so.
The actual candy portion of the lollipop measures 12 x 35 x 3 cm (height x width x depth), although size could vary a bit depending on how the candy person (whatever you call the one who hand-molds the candy) interprets your face. And, yes, because it’s handmade, there’s a chance your lollipop could end up on the unflattering side, so that’s a risk you’ll have to take on your own, since they don’t allow returns (I mean, no one’s exactly lining up to buy a deformed lollipop of your face).
The Face Licker is available now from Firebox, priced at £39.99. Do note, since it’s bespoke, it takes eight to 10 days to get to you if you’re the UK and up to 17 days for international orders.