Like The Three Wolf Moon, This Howling Wolf Mask Will Endow You With Supermasculine Powers


We imagine very few shirts went more viral than Three Wolf Moon, which became the internet’s favorite ironic shirt for a good amount of time. But why just wear a shirt that gives magical powers when you can dress up like one of the three wolves and gain even more inane amounts of supernatural abilities? Seriously, stop wasting your time and pick up one of these Howling Wolf Masks right this minute.

Made by Archie McPhee, it’s a wolf mask whose likeness appears to be lifted straight out of The Mountain’s Three Wolf Moon bestseller. Like in the shirt, the wolf is permanently facing the skies, reaching its nose out to the stars and unleashing a piercing howl through the darkness of the night, prompting the lunar gods to endow you with supermasculine virility, inexhaustible stamina, and irresistible sex appeal.


Instead of requiring you to look up before howling at the moon like other masks, the Howling Wolf Mask has its face permanently turned towards the celestial body, so you can look straight ahead and avoid passing cars while wearing the mask in the streets. There’s no need to use your newfound lycanthropian sensing abilities to make your way around while wearing the mask either, as it has eye holes right on the neck, so you can see all the people looking confused because you’re walking around in a wolf mask one month before Halloween. Like Archie McPhee’s other masks (like that duck and that horse), it’s made from latex, giving it a more realistic texture than traditional plastic masks. It’s sized to fit most adult heads.

Available now, the Howling Wolf Mask is priced at $32.50.

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