Thinkgeek’s Infectious Disease Stress Balls may just be the grossest stress balls ever devised. They’re so gross, in fact, that you’re likely to lose your appetite for lunch after playing with them the whole morning, so they might also prove to be a better diet supplement than the Chinese tea that makes you go to the “stinky cave” five times a day.
While the balls look like regular “squeeze ’em ups” at first glance, there’s actually more to them than being soft rubbery things for clenching all your anger away. They hide pustules, blisters and boils of all sorts, too. One squeeze and all that vomit-friendly stuff begin popping out, hopefully, to everyone’s amusement (most likely not).
The Infectious Disease Stress Balls comes in five colors, each one named after a different type of gross infection. You can choose between Bubonic Plague (blue with green pustules), Cooties (red with red pustules), Smallpox (green with orange pustules) and Zombie Virus (red with green pustules). The latter, of course, is a theoretical recreation of what they imagine the zombiefication process will do, so actual accuracy will vary.
As a diet tool, this should prove an effective deterrent to hunger pangs borne out of boredom and stress. In case you get acclimated to the thought of pustules and boils (e.g. it no longer makes your stomach turn), you can improvise by squeezing every time you’re taking a bite of that Candwich or popping a handful of Cheetos in your mouth. And if all else fails, try adding some lube to the stress ball to make it feel like it’s oozing out pus. That should tide you over for another week (warning: can get messy).
You can get the Infectious Disease Stress Balls now, priced at $4.99 each.