Chocolates are bad for you. So is whiskey. So why not combine them and make the most evil delicacy known to mankind? We’re pretty certain that’s the backstory behind the Jack Daniels Whiskey-Filled Chocolate.
No, this isn’t some pansy whiskey-flavored candy that tastes like a stiff drink but won’t actually get you buzzed. It’s an actual alcoholic chocolate thing, with real 8.5% proof Jack Daniels whiskey liqeur syrup puddled in the center. And that’s real super fattening chocolate, too, with a gobload of sugar and… umm… more sugar.
How many Jack Daniels Whiskey-Filled Chocolate do you need to pop in your mouth to get wasted? We’re not actually sure, but we doubt it matters — this thing is flying fast if someone ever opens a pack. Surprisingly, it’s not made by the devil himself, but by Swiss-based food brand Goldkenn, who, we’re not actually familiar with. Knowing the nefariously irresistible evil packed in this thing, though, we’re guessing that’s the name of a criminal organization of supervillains bent upon conquering humanity, one fat and drunken human being at a time. Yes, this candy is THE doomsday device.
Aside from whiskey syrup and gobloads of sugar, the ingredients list sound harmless enough: cocoa mass, cocoa butter, milk powder, butter fat and all that good stuff that makes chocolates a depressed lady’s best friend. Well, other than cute cats and reruns of Law and Order on cable, that is.
The Jack Daniels Whiskey-Filled Chocolate is available now priced at $9.95 for a 100-gram bar.