Want to hang out with Burt Reynolds and his iconic ‘stache? Well, you can’t. Only VIPs get to hang out with that legend of a facial hair and we heard you’re just a peg below the Jersey Shore case in terms of celebrity. What’s a fan to do?
Get the next best thing, of course. Meet John, an inflatable doll that can easily double as everyone’s favorite mustachioed actor.
What do you mean hanging out with a blow-up doll ain’t as grand? Have you seen the sales of those NSFW female inflatables? They’re literally flying off the online store shelves. If those lonely men can find enjoyment in the arms of a doll with a gaping mouth, a vinyl Burt Reynolds can be your new poker buddy too.
They’re billing it as an Inflatable Dad, a sad, pseudo-replacement for absentee fathers to play with kids and hang out with old men in golf courses (reference: see first pic above). It only stands five feet tall, though, so you’re buying yourself a dad who is embarrassingly short. All those shortcomings are easily made up for, of course, with the killer patch of hair over the lip that send all the ladies swooning.
The retail site claims it works great as a floatation device, allowing you to take Burt Reynolds to the beach for some R&R under the sun. While it comes without clothing (so you can dress it to your liking), it’s only half-creepy, since the doll is rated PG (sorry, ladies).
Just in case you need an extra reason to buy, we think it’s just as close a replica of everyone’s second favorite mustachioed celebrity too, Tyra Banks…errr…we mean, Tom Selleck. John, your new inflatable dad, retails for $17.99.