When you’re sitting on a toilet, do you sometimes imagine yourself as a king, lording over a kingdom from the confines of your throne? You don’t? Well, if you had this Knight to Remember Tissue Holder in the bathroom, you totally would.
Made by Design Toscano, it’s a bathroom tissue holder in the form of a brave knight clad in a shining armor who holds your roll of tissues while you chill in the throne, so you can wipe yourself off after you do the deed. And by “deed,” I mean, order the beheading of two traitors from your palace council right in front of the throne and some of the blood spurted directly on your robe, so you’ll need to clean that up. Or something like that.
Cast in a high-quality plastic resin, each Knight To Remember Tissue Holder is individually hand-painted in a metallic shade, complete with gold accents, to create a realistic-looking armored soldier that’s perpetually ready to carry the royal scrolls at the king’s pleasure. Yes, having a knight in the bathroom now gives you the right to refer to toilet paper as the royal scrolls. And, yes, that is an awesome thing. Unfortunately, this particular knight is only trained to carry out this one errand, so you can’t order him to go to the mini-grocery to get a fresh roll of tissues when you run out. It measures 9 x 7 x 13 inches (w x d x h) and weighs 5 pounds.