I’m feeling stressed, honey, can you get me some Mary Jane? Before you make the mistake of handing me a bag of that other stuff, you best know I’m actually referring to Mary Jane’s Relaxing Soda, a chill-out softdrink that helps you settle into a less-agitated mood.
Most caffeine-powered softdrinks perk you up and lift your energy. Like its light-up-and-puff namesake, Mary Jane soda goes the other way, helping you mellow out. Effects are compared to the relaxing buzz of alcohol without the drowsiness, vomiting or “waking up next to an ugly sex partner,” making it sound like a really good alternative.
Made from a special blend of herbal extracts (Kava and Passionflower), carbonated water and unprocessed cane sugar, the special softdrink claims to create a calming sensation within minutes of consumption. Pop one out of the fridge, down it and you’ll be relieved of anxiety, ready to take on the world (or your bed) completely unperturbed.
Need to calm that ADD before a date? Looking to focus your concentration to prepare for a test? Don’t want to mess up a big job interview by being too anxious? Do it all-natural and 100% legal (not to mention, without getting the munchies) with Mary Jane – the fizzy variety.
Since I haven’t tasted the drink myself, I can’t account for the flavor, so best assume it tastes like how regular herbal stuff do: like crap. I’ve checked the manufacturer’s site and they don’t seem to claim it tastes anywhere near good, so that should be a fair assessment. Mary Jane’s Relaxing Soda is priced at $56 for a 24-pack.