The Personal Submarine Sits Two, Can Go 1,000 Feet Under

Having trouble getting laid?  Take your next date out on The Personal Submarine and see if your body odor still becomes THAT big of an issue.

Here it is, the last hurrah.  If you still can’t get any while taking girls 1,000 feet under the sea on a romantic two-person submarine, nothing else will.

The Personal Submarine is compact two-seater submersible, measuring 10.5 x 8.5 x 6.25 feet and weighing 6,600 lbs.  Designed with a dual-pontoon structure and broad freeboard, it boasts superior stability, even in high sea conditions.  It runs on two 3-horsepower main thrusters for fore, aft and directional control, working hand in hand with another two 3-horsepower translational thrusters that help it navigate laterally and vertically.  Powered by a 120-volt battery bank, it can take you and one lucky date traversing the water at a speed of three knots.

Cabin is covered by a completely transparent 4.7-foot shell, affording you full view of the gorgeous marine sights, including corrals, schools of fish, sunken treasure, Dexter’s chopped-up carcasses bound in trash bags and exploding oil pipes.   Four external 150-watt halogen lamps illuminate your surroundings, so you can see when a giant shark (and, maybe, a mega-octopus) is right nearby.

The pressure sphere is made from 3.25-inch thick acrylic, with climate controls and full safety features installed.   Driving is done right inside the cabin, using a joystick with independent thruster controls.  It has a suite of standard instrumentation and communication equipment, so you can get your lady friend back to the yacht completely safe (and ready to jump your bones).

Of course, having a powerful aphrodisiac at your disposal is never cheap.  The Personal Submarine is available for $2 million.

[Hammacher Schlemmer]