You never know when a giant tentacled creature will lock you in its grasp. I mean, it happens in those weird Japanese cartoons all the time. And when you encounter such misfortune, we doubt there’s anything in your Guppie multi-tool that will let you slice through that slimy limb. That’s why you need this: a Pocket Chainsaw.
Sure, it’s nowhere near as intimidating nor destructive as a real powered chainsaw. But we can’t imagine a handier tool to have in your pocket when one of those appendages wrap around you like an oversized pregnant anaconda who hasn’t eaten in five years.
The Pocket Chainsaw is, basically, like a regular chainsaw with everything else other than the cutting chain taken away. Wrap it around that large tentacle, grab on to the hooks on either end, and use those 124 bi-directional teeth to cut off the limbs to free yourself. According to the product page, it can saw off trunks measuring 3 inches in diameter in just 10 seconds or less.
All links and teeth are made from high-strength, heat-treated steel that gets a special rust-resistant coating. It can be folded in a pocket-friendly bundle (teeth stay inward) that weighs a mere 5 ounces (that includes the carrying can), while being able to open into a 28-inch long mechanical cutter. Handles that can be knotted into the hooks are also included for tougher sawing jobs (like when cutting off a huge carnivorous dinosaur’s leg or something).
Thinkgeek has the Pocket Chainsaw available, priced at $29.99.