Ever looked at a garden rake and thought it will be a good idea to use the same tool that collects leaves and grass in the lawn to scratch your back? You then proceed to scratch your back with it and, let’s just say, the experience is not even close to pleasant? Yeah, it’s a bad idea that seems like a good idea when you first think about it. If you’re still tempted to scratch your back with a rake every time you go out to get your tools from the shed, someone out there put together this Redneck Backscratcher instead.
A back scratcher clad in the likeness of a miniature garden rake, it makes you feel like you’re digging into your back with a veritable garden tool without the unpleasant sensation of those sharp metal tines cutting into your skin. Whether your back resembles all the dead grass in the lawn during autumn, you want to loosen your back the way you loosen the soil in the backyard, or you just want to scratch more of your back at once, this thing should make a more fun back scratcher than those boring hand-shaped units they typically sell.
The Redneck Backscratcher, basically, takes the standard garden rake and shrinks it to a size that’s just long enough for reaching any part of your back that needs scratching all throughout the day. It has a wooden handle, so you can maintain a strong and firm grip while you vigorously scratch that itch away, all while giving the whole thing an extra bit of weight. The scratching head, by the way, measures 7.5 inches wide, so it will cover a great deal of your back all at once, likely making it more efficient than traditional back scratchers, which tend to have a narrower head.
The head is made from plastic, by the way, with fifteen separate tines that can individually flex to contour to the shape of your back, ensuring it can reach every itchy surface, whether you’re sitting, standing, or bending like Mr. Fantastic for no reason whatsoever. Unlike actual garden rakes, the tines aren’t sharp (they’re actually squared off at the tip), so this thing won’t leave open wounds on your back when you accidentally dig in just a little too hard.
Can the Redneck Backscratcher scratch your back better than your wife does? Probably not. It will, however, never be mad at you, so it will scratch your back every single instance you get an itch, all while staying quiet the entire time, so you don’t have to pretend to listen while you get your back scratched and nod along every few minutes to appear like you’re actually engaged in the conversation. While it looks like a rake, by the way, it’s going to be completely useless in the garden for the most part, so don’t make the mistake of taking this out to remove weeds, level soil, or collect leaves, as you’re probably not going to have a good time.
The Redneck Backscratcher is available now.
- THE BEST (or at least the biggest) BACK SCRATCHER on the planet.