Trying to improve on the stapler is an exercise in futility. It’s simple and functionally sound, so there’s really not a lot to fix. Unless you want everything you staple to be stamped with a greeting, that is, which is exactly what the Stampler does.
An office tool that staples and stamps at the same time, it looks like an erstwhile regular handheld stapler with top and bottom finger grips, a staple cartridge and all that. Except the dispensing area comes with a rubber stamp that can imprint a logo right around the actual metal staple when you do press it onto the stack of papers you’re submitting to your supervisor.
Designed by Phil Jones, the Stampler lets you leave a “Have a Nice Day” greeting right around the stapled corner of any stack of sheets. Suck UK says it’s supposed to be smiley face in the middle. Since the staple wire makes a straight line (it uses regular wire staples that fasten flat), though, there’s no way that face is smiling — a stoic mug that just farted, while trying hard to look innocent, is more like it.
The only downside here is that the rubber stamp attachment isn’t replaceable. It would have been fun if I can substitute it with a “From The Best Employee Ever” text, just to constantly remind the boss of who really gets things done around the office. Might be fun to throw in a “Shove It” when handing in your three-page resignation, too.