Want to keep Cupid’s arrow from penetrating your heart of stone (or just some obsessive-compulsive assassin insisting on putting a bullet right in your aorta)? You may want to look into protecting yourself with The Damned, a bulletproof pocket square for dapper gentlemen whose hearts are in danger.
Of course, you can always just wear a bulletproof vest underneath all your clothes, but where’s the thrill in that? Besides, vests make you look fat. It’s true, you can check Wikipedia.
Styled like an accessory from an older James Bond movie (i.e. before Daniel Craig made the super spy badass again), The Damned should look perfect when paired with a formal suit (or PeeWee Herman’s jacket, whichever you prefer). It looks nothing more than a regular 270 x 270 mm handkerchief, but is actually made from military-grade aramid fiber. Fold it seven times (yep, if you miss one fold, you’re dead) and you’ve got enough protection to withstand a speeding bullet.
Created by Sruli Recht, it functions similar to an actual protective vest, nullifying enough of the projectile’s force to keep it from breaking through your skin. It will still hurt like hell, of course, but you’ll live (unless you get internal hemorrhage, then you might die).
Make sure to read the bottom paragraph on the project page for the $136 hanky, which puts out a disclaimer, saying “We take NO responsibility for those who feel compelled to test the endurance or resistance of the textile in any way.” That means if you actually try to put a bullet through it for shits and giggles (I mean, let’s face it, it’s craptacularly useless otherwise), you still might die. Want to live on the edge?
[Sruli Recht via Technabob]