You like to pretend you're a musician of sorts when bringing girls over. But you can't actually play, whether it be an instrument, a music-making software or one of those electronic thingamajigs. As such, you fill up your house with music-related items (like a Marshall Fridge, a Flipper Spatula and a vintage Les Paul with all the strings removed), so you can look the part without actually getting asked to play anything. May we recommend adding this TR-808 Beanbag to your ensemble?
Made by Analog Sweden, it's a large beanbag -- the type you can actually lie down to sleep on. Instead of just a blank colored finish, though, it's printed with the face of a vintage TR-808, complete with all the knobs and controls, so you and the date can pretend you're looping samples and rocking beats while listening to mixes on SoundCloud.
The TR-808 Beanbag measures a large 48 x 72 inches, making it ideal for two people to chill on while getting acquainted over a round of cheap wine and a movie from your Netflix queue. Construction is high-quality 420D nylon, with double stitching, 350-liter polystyrene pellets filling and velcro/zipper closures for easy refill after washing. The TR-808 graphic is sublimation-printed, so it should last even through all the sweat, spills and subsequent washing (hopefully) it goes through in its lifetime.
Like the rest of your tangentially musical items, there's no way to play anything on it, so your secret inability to actually make music is safe. You can buy the TR-808 Beanbag now, priced at 1995 kr (around $300).