When I was in grade school, almost every single kid used their wooden rulers as makeshift swords. And we engaged in those swordfights like seafaring swashbucklers from before guns were in vogue. The Machete Ruler saves kids the trouble of having to imagine their measuring sticks as proper bladed weapons — because it’s cut to look like one.
Made by Palehorse Design, the limited edition school supply comes in the shape of a small machete. We doubt you can use it to slice off weed and branches like a proper machete knife, but it definitely looks as badass as the real thing.
The Machete Ruler is a laser-engraved wooden stick that you can use to measure lengths and draw straight lines just like any ruler. Unlike standard rulers, only one side of the stick is straight — the other side is shaped like the large and heavy cutlass knives you’ll find in the hands of trained soldiers cutting through undergrowths while finding their way out of the thick jungles as they are hunted down by a pair of vacationing Predators.
Unfortunately, it’s only 12 inches long, so it’s one of those smaller baby machetes at best. Still, it’s easily more awesome than any wooden ruler I’ve ever seen. And, yes, it’s way more awesome than the SpongeBob Squarepants ruler you got your kid for the upcoming schoolyear. If only there’s a way kids can actually get away with this in a classroom…
You can get the Palehorse Design Machete Ruler now, priced at $20.