With Mother’s Day just days away it’s time to start thinking about Mom’s gift – and our solution is…porn. Okay, so this seems like it would be a much better gift for your single friend’s birthday…but we found some mom-appropriate and even mom-approved – porn.
We all know that women have strange desires and cravings and such during their pregnancy, but scientists are just now discovering that these cravings carry over to life as a mother as well. In fact, a-number-we-just-made-up percent of mothers report, that what really gets them hot are pictures of men vacuuming, changing the baby and doing the dishes.
Okay, so it’s not really porn, but for the new mother it may be just what the doctor ordered. This coffee table book features hot guys doing mundane, household tasks. If the hot guys don’t do it for your new mom, then imagining their husband in the place of the tall model with the five o’clock shadow with the blender in his hand, just might.
Also, you might just make your mother laugh out loud, or if she is particularly easily embarrassed, turn a deep red color similar to the tomatoes in her garden, as the book is actually called Porn For New Moms. This, by itself, is enough for me to put it on my list as a gift for mom.
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2. BOX OF CHOCOLATES SOAP GIFT SET
Clean Up This Mother’s Day
Although it may seem that way at first, this isn’t a deliberate attempt to fool your mother into thinking she’s going to get some delicious tasting chocolate, just to point your finger at her and say No!…No!.. as she tries to eat the bar of soap. It’s a beautiful box of foreign soaps, that just happen to look like a box of chocolates.
These Eco-Friendly glycerin soaps are made by Artists in South Africa and Glycerin is both an emollient and a humectant, and if you aren’t a chemist that simply means that Glycerin Soaps allow moisture to cling to your body better, making it cleaner.
These soaps come in a linen gift box with a beautiful assortment of hand sewn satin roses on the top. There are ten soaps total, all hand wrapped, in scents that include mint, floral, spicy and citrus. Perfect for the mom that loves exotic stuff to show her you love her this mother’s day. Just do yourself a favor, have a box of real chocolates nearby in case she goes a little bit crazy with a major chocolate craving.
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3. MOOD BAROMETER MUGS
Want To Know Her Mood? Just Look At Her Mug!
Okay, we men know that if mom’s mood is bad then you should run! Hide! Take a frigging vacation if you can! The problem is, how do you know what the mood is without stepping out tentatively, risking life and limb, and asking “How are you, honey?”
Well, the answer is these innovative set of ‘Mood Mugs’ which allow her to tell you how she’s feeling without you ever opening your mouth. This set of 4 mugs lets whoever is holding them tell everyone around them the forecast – warm, chilly, stormy or mostly friendly. The moods are color coded in bright pastels and make a great gift for anyone. The Mood Mugs are microwave safe and hand washing is recommended.
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4. HIGH HEEL CAKE SERVER
Cake Up Your Heels!
Everyone has heard of the old woman that lived in the shoe, but did you know that all of her cups, plates, bowls, dishes and even serving utensils were shoe related? Straight from the shoe lady’s kitchen comes the High Heel Cake Server. Perfect for any mom who has a sense of humor, this stainless steel cake server has a detachable magnetic heel for washing or attaching onto your choice of cake servers, and looks just like a high heeled shoe.
The High Heel Cake Server heel is black and fits on any standard cake server. Your first stainless steel cake server is included, but you can use whichever cake server you wish. For only fifteen bucks this little item is a “shoe-in” for your next party, event or personalized gift.
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5. CHEF’S KNIFE EARRINGS
Sharper Jewelry For The Chef In Your Life
Do you know someone who is a master in the kitchen, effortlessly sending out delicious apple tart, melt-in-your-mouth casseroles and restaurant quality crème brulee? Well, we’ve found the perfect gift for the Kitchen Goddess in the funny white hat and coat. A pair of really sharp earrings that look like your average kitchen knife.
Let your Culinary Connaisseur, your Consummate Chef, your Princess of Pastries – okay we’ll stop – know that you thought about them carefully when you picked out their gift. These earrings are handcrafted by artist Debbie Howe, who was inspired by her husband – a chef. We’re not certain if he wears the earrings or not – but we are sure that your favorite cook will love this token of their chosen profession. These earrings are sterling silver and measure about an inch and a half long.