Unbreakable Umbrella Won’t Break Its Frame, Will Break Your Bones

I’ve had umbrellas turn over and give out during heavy winds.  However, I’ve never really had one break on me before.  That’s why the Unbreakable Umbrella sort of confused me.  What the heck does a rain-protecting canopy have to do to deserve the name?

As it turns out, it’s bordering on awesome.  While the Unbreakable Umbrella shields you from drizzles like any regular self-respecting bumbershoot does, it’s real value is as a self-defense weapon.  According to the creators, the thing whacks as strong as a steel pipe, potentially rendering attackers unconscious with a powerful-enough swipe (or, at the least, grimacing in pain).

What’s cool, though, is the fact that it looks nothing other than a regular umbrella.  In fact, it weighs a mere 775 grams, while packing no more metal than any similar implement you can pick off any store shelf.  With the main stick built out of durable ABS composite material, simply furl the damn thing and it’s ready to bludgeon whatever catches your ire.  Got laid off at work?  Whack that company iMac to pieces.  Some clown trashed your car?  Get even with just a couple of swings anywhere on their ride.  Just keep it away from the wife when she’s mad at you and you’ll be all set.

Leave the pepper spray, taser and pocket knives at home.  All you really need to carry is an umbrella and you’ve got your first line of defense ready.  The manufacturer claims it won’t break under usual conditions (you know, whacking people and things), but all warranties are off once you set it to fire or have it run over by a bulldozer.

Sing in the rain and whack some street thugs while you’re at it with the Unbreakable Umbrella.  It’s available with two types of handles, crooked wide and knob wood, both $179.95 apiece.  Check out the crazy promotional video below.

[Real Self Defense via Core 77]